No one is immune to the dark cloud of disappointment. Every now and then it casts its shadow on our bright and spoils our otherwise bright and sunny day. Young or old, rich or poor, male or female, we all suffer from disappointment at one point or another. But what if I tell you that sometimes God uses our disappointments to lead us to maturity? In this article, we’ll examine what disappointment is, understand its dangers, and turn to God’s Word to learn how to deal with disappointment and in our lives and see them as stepping stones instead of stumbling blocks.
Understanding Disappointment
Disappointment is the emotion you typically feel when the outcome or performance of a person or a thing doesn’t meet your expectations. You can be disappointed with your spouse for trivial matters, like forgetting to buy an item from the grocery. On the other hand, more troubling disappointment arises when a husband or wife makes a judgment call that makes life much more complicated for the entire family.
Disappointment with things material and immaterial is also often felt. For example, you can feel let down when an expensive product you bought online turns out to be made of substandard parts and breaks easily. Entrepreneurs can be disappointed with how their startup businesses and investments are underperforming. Citizens can be disappointed with how their government mishandles the horrendous economic slump.
The Danger of Self-Disappointment
The worst kind of disappointment is being disappointed with yourself. Self-disappointment often results in anger, frustration, loss of confidence, self-blame, self-pity, and fear of making decisions. When indulged in, the path to depression is cleared. Once depressed, you will find yourself unable to function normally, which means you end up neglecting to do chores, run errands, and failing to engage with others like you normally do.
Self-disappointment may lead you to think that it is a feeling that dispels illusions of grandeur, that it makes you think that you are being humble. While that may be true, the exact opposite can also be true—it may be rooted in pride.
Consider the following:
- Unrealistic expectations: When you let your pride set expectations that are unreasonably high, you will inevitably fall short. Failing in meeting such unrealistic goals all too often lead to disappointment.
- Self-reliance: Overemphasizing your own abilities while neglecting neglecting to acknowledge dependence on God is a manifestation of our pride. When this happens, you are putting your faith more in yourself instead of God.
- Perfectionism: Pride drives many people to seek perfection in their actions and achievements. Having this mindset sets you up for disappointment, anger, and discouragement.
- Difficulty accepting grace: Pride makes it unpalatable to accept God’s forgiveness and grace. Think of the Pharisees in the New Testament, their pride, manifested in their self-righteousness, resulted in their refusal to admit their sinfulness and see Christ as their Lord and Savior. The same happens to us when we indulge in self-disappointment and spiral down to depression.
- Focus on self: Pride keeps our focus inward on our own performance and worthiness, rather than outward on God’s sufficiency and love. This self-focus intensifies feelings of disappointment.
As can be seen from above, focusing on yourself instead of coming to God for forgiveness, restoration, and help in times of need indicates that you have allowed pride to take control. Instead of fixating on yourself, go to God in repentance, humbly ask for His guidance, and move on.
How to deal with disappointment according to Scripture
The Bible has a lot of encouraging verses that contain wisdom on how we are to deal with feelings of disappointment so that it would not fester into depression or lead to other problems. Here are some valuable lessons we can learn from Scripture:
- Trust in God. Instead of being swayed by negative emotions, remember that you can trust God to help you in your situation. You are not alone in your struggle.
- Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”
- Psalm 55:22: “Cast your burden upon Yahweh and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken”
- Hope in God. Hope is faith anticipating God’s intervention and fulfillment of his promises because you know who exactly God is. You are confident God will come through because you know his character. Because you know God is good.
- Psalm 42:11: “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you disturbed within me? Wait for God, for I shall still praise Him, the salvation of my presence and my God.”
- Psalm 34:18: “Yahweh is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
- Seek solace from God. God offers healing and comfort to those who are hurting, providing solace and strength to overcome disappointment.
- Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
- Job 5:11: “The lowly he sets on high, and those who mourn are lifted to safety.”
- Recognize God’s sovereign reign.. Recognizing that God has a purpose and timing for everything helps us accept and find meaning in our disappointments.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-4: “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven— A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.”
- Ecclesiastes 7:14: “In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider—God has made the one as well as the other so that man will not discover anything that will be after him.”
- Persevere patiently. Perseverance in the face of disappointment demonstrates faith and resilience, trusting that God will refine and strengthen us through our trials.
- Proverbs 24:16: “For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity.”
- Romans 5:3-: “And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope.”
- Ponder God’s timing and purpose. Reflecting on God’s timing and purpose helps us understand that life’s outcomes are ultimately in His hands, and He can bring restoration and blessings even after periods of disappointment.
- Romans 8:28: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
- Isaiah 55:8-9: “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ declares Yahweh. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Conclusion
Disappointment may knock us down, but with God’s help, it doesn’t have to knock us out. As we’ve seen, the Bible offers us practical wisdom for facing life’s letdowns:
- Expect disappointments – they’re part of our earthly journey. (see John 16:33)
- Remember that God is working, even when we are not aware of His presence or see His guiding hand. (see Psalm 37:5)
- Yield to His will – that’s where growth begins. (see James 1:2-4)
When disappointment looms over us and casts its dismal shadow, know that we have a choice. We can let it embitter us, or we can let it better us. By turning to God’s Word and trusting His plan, our disappointments change from impenetrable walls to doorways that lead to God’s throne of grace..
So, friend, the next time life doesn’t go as planned, ask yourself: “What might God be teaching me here?” You may find that what seemed like a detour was actually God’s intended path all along.
Remember, in God’s hands, no disappointment is ever wasted. He’s in the business of turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones, shaping us to be more like His Son. And that, dear reader, is no disappointment at all.